In those days, the worst was an attack from a predator, and the risk was serious harm or death.īut for our kids today, the risks are much less severe, and so this approach serves little to no purpose. There can be many reasons for a negative or pessimistic attitude, and they may appear alongside symptoms of depression or anxiety.įor the latter, being negative about a process or situation may be a sort of defence mechanism a way of ‘preparing for the worst’.Īnd in some instances, this can be both adaptive and productive.įrom an evolutionary psychology perspective, our ancient ancestors who were constantly preparing for the worst were the most likely to survive. It’s all about understanding the source of their negativity, and how it manifests itself. So how can we help a pessimistic child to take a more positive approach to life? While many such people consider themselves ‘realists’, in reality, there’s not a whole lot of benefit to this kind of negative thinking.Īnd for the relatively sheltered and protected time of childhood, this attitude is particularly unproductive. You can also follow her on Twitter or Facebook.We’ve all encountered a ‘Negative Nancy’ in our lives - the type of person who is constantly expecting the worst out of any given situation. (You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. I wish I hadn’t done it.ĭear Missed: When I face this sort of challenge, I tell myself, “I can always react … later.” Years ago, I sent a letter written in a white-heat, and it terminated the relationship. I’m glad you told her to write the letter – but hold off on sending it. We’ll be back at the house first thing in the morning for breakfast.”ĭear Amy: “Hurt and Angry” wanted to write an angry letter to her uncle, who had not stepped up when Hurt’s parents were ill. Tell these family members, “We treasure your hospitality but as we’ve gotten older, we just need a little more space and privacy, so we’re going to rest our creaky old bones at the Rosebud Motel overnight. Yes, find a comfortable nearby place to stay. ![]() Any suggestions, or do we just suck it up?ĭear Cramped: Because this question has come in during the dark days of the pandemic, I’m going to assume that perhaps you are planning ahead for a time when in-home visits will be safely resumed. We love them and get along so well, but the sleep thing just doesn’t work for us. Hotels could be an option, but none of us on my in-law’s side of the family have ever done that (whether at our place or theirs), and asking my SIL to change her decorating style doesn’t seem like an option, either. While hubby and I are in good shape, he’s pushing 70 and we both still work and need to be rested and ready to go on Monday morning. We would love to spend more time with them but have a very difficult time spending even one night in the guest bed. All of the beds in their house are small like this. ![]() Here’s our dilemma: My sister-in-law has kept all (and I mean all) of her grandmother’s furniture, including beds that only hold 3/4-sized mattresses. We all love spending time together, playing games and talking until late at night and then waking up “together” the next morning. That sucks!”ĭear Amy: One of my husband’s brothers lives a few hours from us. So yes, your upbeat messages about the wonderful work you are doing leave her cold, probably because she can’t do these things herself.īut when bad things happen, Sandy is identifying with you. Sometimes a person who is hurting doesn’t want to be reminded of their relatively messy lot in life. They don’t want someone constantly poking them with positivity. But sometimes, when a person’s spirit is low, they don’t want to be jollied out of it. ![]() Your impulse is to always try to raise Sandy’s spirts by being upbeat. Have you ever been chronically and seriously ill? Have you ever been depressed? Possibly not. She might be less of a Negative Nancy if you were a little less of a Positive Penny. Why is this? How do I deal with a negative Nancy?ĭear Upbeat: I completely identify with “Sandy.” Digital Replica Edition Home Page Close MenuĪsk Amy: Neighbors’ plant is a Little Shop of HorrorsĪll she likes to hear is bad news.
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